The Pandora Archives: Journal Entry 10-26-13

These are excerpts from my dark & tawdry past please skip if you are here for the fun stuff. Lol.

I usually never use the internet for my own personal venting/journalling purposes… I usually just stick it into a book and hope for the best…problem is I have WAY too many journals I have accumulated over a few decades…so now I have decided to condense and infiltrate the cyberspace and get rid of my journals. This is my personal choice. I’m hoping someday maybe someone will be interested or understand my thoughts.I really must say- I personally am content this Saturday morning – woke up, took pill, vitamins… bathroom, read a little ( Anne Rice’s ‘The Wolf Gift’ ) lounged in bed, put mail on my desk, fed my fish, put all the jewlery away from my cleaning geode from last night to get rid of the woo woo from the whole week… La Dee dahhh.There are no dragons in the doorway.There are no true nightmares.Had the second good night’s sleep in a row…maybe it’s from the new pillows I bought Thursday?Content at the current moment – roommates are all asleep currently it’s 9:30 am.Every so often I can hear my fish chattering in the top of his bowl. I am forming plans and making systems with my life.I sometimes can hear my other roommate – she reminds me of Mrs. Hobson from Sherlock Holmes… I think she sometimes gives me the stability that I haven’t had since that previous ex roommate… AKA The SheBitch or also known as my own personal banshee lost her proverbial mind.I dream someday of getting through all these writing projects I have on my desk finished because it’s taking over my entire bedroom……maybe I will tackle cleaning the SUV today.Maybe I will go for a walk.Each morning is full of so many possibilities.It is amazing how clear your mind becomes once you turn everything off? I haven’t had my cell phone on for two whole days! I just have not wanted to really talk to anyone.And what happens when I wake up? My mind is perfectly still. No headaches. No panic. No drama.Just comfort.I want to stay in this zone.Last night I cooked peppered nitrate/gluten free bacon with asparagus for dinner.I can see now why my mother loved asparagus so much…when you taste it it’s so wonderful! When its fresh it’s even better!I haven’t been around smokers or drinkers for a while now – I am enjoying this portion of my path right now.The little light is on the car. Yes this worries me. I know eventually I will have to put the money down and repair it. It will be fine. I guess it’s part of adulting I suppose.For my birthday W took me to Jschmidts and had a wonderful steak salad with bleu cheese crumbles.I have decided to give up on bread entirely.This was a very hard/harsh decision.Protein, veg and fruit only…So how has it been after a week without bread? I have found wheat in practically everything ! Including things that don’t need wheat!β€’Chocolate does not need wheat!β€’honey roasted peanuts don’t need wheat!β€’Bacon does not need Wheat!Yet, wheat is in everything!I find I have to check the ingredients in everything now. Reeses Pieces and Starbursts do not have wheat in them….but sugar. Not great examples, right?I like making my own food again.I must defrost my steak for tonight.I think I did have one crunch flat bread this week…later on I found out it was cheese, not bread.Have been shopping in the supermarkets like an ingredient ninja on a treasure hunt to find no wheat in anything!I was looking for inspiration and I found it. I was looking for living inspiration and I found it……actually it found me.Mom would be proud.

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