Saying Goodbye is hard…

Sometimes people just leave our lives. Either you get into a fight or they move and out of sight out of mind happens.

Saying toodle loo isn’t as hard as one thinks….

Sometimes people we love pass on or die. And we wish we could of would of … this is why you need to say what you need to say when you need to say it.

One of the hardest things to do in life is to apologize for being a butthead or hurting someone’s feelings. I have learned that I have had my own share of being said butthead.

However. Since the pandemic, I have lost a good chunk of friends that hurt me in, oh, so many ways. I allowed people to use me, walk all over me and belittle me…sometimes right to my face.

Well, for that? I say NOPE.

If someone wants to go off on you? Because they need help? Just NOPE.

There are some people in my life right now that owe me apologies. I mean HUGE.

One who I thought was a great friend that actually encouraged me to take me so far down that I almost almost contemplated ending my own life. That is not a normal Pan thing!

Another that just went and tried to make a play for me forgetting obviously I’m married! And then robbed me blind of my nest egg. I’m quite glad that they are suffering as much as they are…I won’t lie.

One that was upset I called them out on their BS because it was the truth…stop me if I tell a lie! The reason people get annoyed with me is that I will call them out when they are being the bad guy? And we ALL want to be the heroes in our own lives, right? Well…I didn’t get that memo.

And then the final one which was the deepest cut of all. Because I watched them not only attack their friend? I mean like threaten…really threaten. But then try to gaslight the situation about how they DESERVE this treatment and “hear them out”…umm no. The kicker to this is that I was attacked online after not responding because I was swamped and could not answer my phone at 4%!!!

And when I mean attacked? I mean barraged and blowing up phones and flying accusations and just all forms of nasty.

If someone wants to argue via cell? That’s a BIG NOPE from me!

I am sure you yourselves have had similar situations as well.

If someone tells you every little detail of what they have ever “been there” with you for? That’s not a friend.

That’s a scorekeeper.

There should be no tally in friendships.

And if someone is keeping score in your friendship? That’s not a friendship. That’s a transaction. Then it’s a trade of energy. Gee… doesn’t that sound like shopping to you? It does to me.

You don’t need record keepers like that then in your life. You also don’t need someone to lose their mind on you when you don’t answer a text or a DM or a message promptly enough.

You are not a Labrador to bark and come running when someone comes calling.

The point is…I’ve had Therapists ask me what would it take to befriend so n so again.

A public apology. Admit they were wrong.

Won’t happen? But that’s how I feel. Because I can quantify my own self worth. If someone tries to rip me to shreds? They darn well better be prepared that I will no longer live with their toxicity. It’s just that simple.




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